Meet Cooper

As a Professional Concerned Citizen, Cooper would like to speak with you about several things. He’s not entirely sure what those things are, but they are concering…

You can usually find Cooper perched high atop his cat tree, surveying the premises like a tiny orange neighborhood watch captain. When something catches his attention, he’ll slowly cock his head to the side, stare directly into your soul and let out a little “meow?”

Before coming to us, Cooper reportedly spent several months working the customer service desk at a Tractor Supply. He was ultimately let go after repeatedly calling a manager about situations that didn’t require one. Since then, he’s decided corporate America isn’t for him.

Cooper is now seeking a permanent position as Household Supervisor, where his responsibilities will include:

Perching, observing, asking follow-up questions, looking concerned, being ridiculously sweet, and providing absolutely no solutions.

His salary requirements are reasonable: snacks, affection, and one strategically placed cat tree from which he can monitor your questionable decision-making.

If you’ve been looking for a tiny orange man who will love you unconditionally while also making you feel like you’re under investigation, Cooper is accepting applications.